Reading Journal: The Dead

Ye Ji Park / 111053 / 12v1

Mr. Garrioch

World Literature

March 26 2013

Reading Journal: The Dead

Epiphany – Finite Disappointment, but Infinite Hope

When two pennies “fall against the sixpence in [his] pocket”, the narrator of “Araby” experiences a break in his firm belief about romantic, idealistic, even holy love. Gabriel, the protagonist of Joyce’s novella “The Dead”, experiences a similar epiphany – he realizes something that he has once believed wholeheartedly is wrong.

Gabriel, an intelligent, educated gentleman, is highly respected in the society. He is “[Aunts’] favorite nephew” who carves the goose and delivers an oration at party “as usual”. Confident in other’s acclaim, Gabriel values himself as a superior person. He worries that Aunts’ party guests would not understand the lines from Robert Browning. When Miss Ivors criticizes him of writing for the Daily Express, he does not try to reject her charge, thinking that she, not one of “friends of many years’ standing … [with] careers … first at the University and then as teachers”, would not understand his counterargument. In his dinner speech, he disregards the Irish for “lingering … to the names of all those great singers of the past” and urges them to stop living in the past. Gabriel almost sounds like an enlightened pioneer who laments about ignorant crowd lingering in “sad memories” and “gloomy moralizing intrude” of the past.

But a closer look reveals that Gabriel is not that superior as he seems firsthand; Gabriel is, actually, very tenable. At the very start of the novella, when Lily angers at Gabriel’s remarks, he does not explain his original “gaily” intention but instead tries to resolve the issue superficially by thrusting a coin into her hands. Similarly, when Miss Ivors calls Gabriel a “West Briton” and denounces him for knowing nothing of his own people and own country, Gabriel retorts suddenly: “O, to tell you the truth, I’m sick of my own country, sick of it!” Although his emotion toward Ireland is not that extreme, he does not know how to logically argue himself against Miss Ivors and responds according to his spontaneous emotions. If he were really superior, he would have suppressed momentary embarrassment and refuted to Lily’s misunderstanding or Miss Ivors’ unfair accusation with clear reasoning.

At the end of the story, Gabriel goes through an epiphany that makes him realize such fault. As he heads to the hotel with his wife, Gretta, he feels a strong desire to control her, to prove that “she was his”. When he learns that Gretta is thinking of her first love, not him, Gabriel gets furious at her that he “coldly” interrogates his wife, “Perhaps that was why you wanted to go to Galway with that Ivors girl?” But as time passes, he calms down and realizes that he will never be her “master”. This is the moment of epiphany to Gabriel; he has been thinking that he was superior to others, just as he believed that he could control his wife’s thoughts and mood, and then realizes that he actually cannot.

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If the narrator of “Araby” experiences the break of his innocent notion about love, and Gabriel experiences the break of his superiority, I experienced the break of belief about formality. 

When I was young, I defined myself as a liberal, form-unrestrained person. I scorned ceremonies, from ordinary morning assembly to grand events such as Entrance or Graduation ceremony, thinking that all those lengthy conventions were waste of time and energy. I believed that what mattered was essence, and only if the core message is delivered clearly, the means of conveyance did not matter. I, maybe, looked down on adults who seemed to pay so much attention on strict procedures. And I used to make small rebels toward such formalities; I often stayed silent while others sing National Anthem, let the words of speakers flow out my ear, and sometimes ran away in the middle of ceremonies.

My epiphany took place two weeks before, when a junior made a speech at the morning assembly. He attempted to raise questions about how the school is administered, but was stopped before finishing his words by teachers who judged that the speech was being practiced in improper place and time. From a “liberalistic” perspective, the student’s act was something to be praised and the teacher’s act to be blamed; anyway, the student tried to deliver his message to teachers and students, although he did not keep some formalities. But what I felt at that moment was totally different. I almost panicked over the situation, and felt strong need to stop the student’s words before the situation grows serious.

At that moment, I realized that there were moments that formality is needed. Almost every students and teachers there were not expecting such a speech that raises somewhat abrupt and blunt questions. A proper procedure – maybe a beforehand implication of what he is going to do – would have helped that junior be a little more successful with his speech.

We all know that admitting the faulty of some claim that one has strongly believed once is not very pleasurable. Still, it is definite that epiphany widens the range of the world we can see – as the narrator in “Araby” realizes that not only pure love exists in the world, as Gabriel understands his un-superiority, and as I recognizes the significance of formality. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope.” So let us accept finite disappointment at the moment of epiphany, but never lose infinite hope that these epiphanies will, at last, help us gain a better view of the world.