#14. Mr.Moon's Assignment: Three Words about Me

On the surface, I’m an outgoing, sociable, and jolly girl. In group meeting, I make a lot of jokes and play the role as “atmosphere creator”. My roommates often say the room would be much more dull and insipid without me. My brightness, however, is not everything; opening the lid of doll and taking out another Matryoshka, the darker side follows. I do have a lot of friends whom I keep amicable relationship with, but stay indifferent to their hard situations. I believe my responsibility is ended in daily pleasantness, and it’s their responsibility to overcome their own problems, unless they ask me for help first. Nevertheless, there still remains the last Matroshka. Regarding the closest friends, those I feel completely trusty and loyal, the boundary between my responsibility and theirs disappears. We share our pain and deeply empathize with each other. I am the Matroshka with three dolls – first superficial, second dismal, and third sincere.

“A good beginning is half the battle.” – A very famous aphorism, still I’m not whether it is true or not. I always plan an outline before writing an essay, usually paying substantial time and concentration. But confronting the completed outline, I feel very pleased with myself, and say to myself, “Well done, it’s enough for today. Let’s do the writing tomorrow” and stuff the outline in the corner. Not only writing, but in other tasks, too, I often plan things nicely but not carry on actions. This makes me a soap bubble that bursts even before floating the air. Lack of acting power is my shortcoming I have to correct.

The fact that final term is D-12, winter vacation is D-25, and when I return to school next February I would be a sophomore sometimes makes me freak out about how fast time flows. Every time I think so, I look back my past. I blush myself and blame my fine memory as I remind the moments of humiliation and embarrassment, and often regret over clumsy decisions or time I spent recklessly. Still, these unpleasant memories are what make me promise to myself not to repeat the past in my future. I am a rearview mirror, who checks my back for coming safe-driving.